Kitsch

My ash tray has nothing to do with cigarettes, it's there for conversation.

The handcuffs were only purchased for kink, I'm not violating terms of probation.

Glance at my nightstand and you'll see four knives that are military grade.

I'm not a killer, but something has to cut open the amazon packages for which I paid.

The ski mask has no connection to bank heists or exotic locations like Aspen.

It gives me privacy on colder days, so if I tell you that it comes off, don't ask when.

I am not a traveler, neither am I a geographer hauling scientific tools in a crate

The globe that graces my messy desk is really a pretentious paper weight.

Got a shelf full of fancy wine glasses even though I am clean and sober.

Once you toss out the sippy cups, you still need an aesthetic that looks considerably older.

The college diploma on my wall has nothing to do with smarts or a telegraph of clout.

Some explanations are much simpler, like making use of a protruding nail that I can't pull out.

There are unopened board games that will never be played unless I’m delirious.

Some objects are displayed for the sole purpose of not looking so serious.

Two ceramic dogs guard my living room, the real one died year ago.

After the heartbreak, I swore never to budget for another bounding fido.

Nobody cares about primary intentions anymore; that is so passe.

If it were not for solar panels, we would blanket the sun, and let the world go grey.