Control Alt Delete

Perception warps after having gone six hours over the daily recommended screen time.

Sacrificing connection for hyper-reality was never the plan, but will do for the mean time.

The antics of shameless provocateurs make me that much less of a people person.

I know everything is a business, but hearing them makes my condition slightly worsen.

There is an American compulsion to stand out before knowing exactly what you stand in.

Remember the man who spoke truth to power until the war broke out? Management canned him.

Leave me alone to slow dance with a broom whose bristles I sweetly complemented.

If that is too much of an ask, just take pity on a mind that is becoming increasingly demented.

It's not all bad news, I can get up to the hour news around the world any time I want.

Call me juvenile, but I passed on an article about oppression because it was printed in Helvetica Font.

My firm handshake is less about enthusiasm and more the product of pornography.

What can I do to make it right, but offer you hand sanitizer and my deepest apology.

It's too bad you will never get a vicious e-mail on which I forgot to hit send.

A picture of my egg sandwich went without a like from you; now I'm at my wit's end.

Isn't it funny how dumb we are despite being a couple of keystrokes away from encyclopedic knowledge?

All is not in vain, I can go to sleep at night knowing I put the Amazon driver's kids through college.

Women are an enigma, but I haven't meet one that I couldn't right click.

Elections past dog catcher are a farce, but if done on line, I might pick.

I hate to say it, but between my laptop and smartphone, I am reporting for duty.

Every study swears by a sunlight and friendship. I choose my computer; sue me.